Closet Love

Ever been in a relationship where either you or your significant other only showed they cared and loved you when it was just you two? Well... That's stupid. I am a strong believer in public affection. The way you show your feelings towards me behind closed doors should still be present when we go out.
The term I use for this retarded display of affection is "Closet Love". As a person whose experienced this... love if you will, it makes you feel like you're being hidden or you're not that important. You feel like a sideline and you often find yourself questioning what the problem is. Let's not get it twisted though, I've never been a sideline. I'm too... Me to be a sideline. Anyways, I feel that if you're going to kiss and hug me when no one is looking, you better hug and kiss me some more when we're in front of friends or family. I don't care. I guess showing you love someone outside the confinement of your relationships 4 walls, is like a big blimp flying around saying "These two are together!" So now be dude whose looking at your girl knows, that she's with you. And the female whose plotting on your man knows what the deal is as well. But them of course you have those trifling people. Hmph. All in all, love is a 24/7 365 days a year type of thing. If you're in a relationship with someone you strongly care about I would think you'd want to show it off. Hug them. Kiss them. Hold their hand. Show them you love them.feel

Own Tune. Own Moves.

Never envy someone else's relationship. Each relationship is different. The principles and foundations are different from the next one. Some relationships are built off sex. Others are leaning on emotional, mental and spiritual aspects. Everyone is different.
I say don't envy another relationship because while you're praying and hoping to be like the couple who hump like rabbits, they could be praying and wishing that they could be like yours. Not every relationship is perfect. It's not heard of. People say they want a commitment like Jay Z and Beyonce.... No. You want a commitment like your own. I hear on countless times how people wish they're relationship was like mine. Why? Follow your own heart, wants, and needs. Don't mimic ours. We're different people.
Don't feel pressured into establishing a level in your relationship by people outside of your relationship. Like sex for example. This brings me back to when I said, every relationship is different. They all are on different levels. Going at different speeds. Maybe one relationship isn't ready to take it there just yet. And it shouldn't matter how long they've been in a relationship. It's up to the people in the relationship. Two people. Besides, does sex make a relationship official or something? If so, that's retarded and so is any and everyone who back up that theory.
Though this aspect of each relationship should be the same: Respect. Your want and needs. I believe that every female is a Queen and should look for a King to treat her in that manner. And every man is a King and needs a Queen to treat him as such. No one should be treated like a village peasant. Unless you're a whore. Or a homewrecker. Other than that, you're the prize. And worth more than rubies(Chelsea =]). But vocalizing what it is that you want, is how you'll get respect and your desires granted. The way you carry yourself determines how respect will be reciprocated. This definitely shouldn't be envied because everyone should be treated this way by their significant other. And if they're not, someone in that mess of a relationship is crazy and I wouldn't want to try to duplicate anything they have.
Move to your own drum. Have your own requirements. Follow your own heart, mind, and soul.

Red Light. Red Light. Green Light!

Why can't people be straight up with their feelings? Constantly giving off different emotions; confusing themselves and the person of interest. Feelings are so easy to expression. While you're expressing how much you hate him or her, you can be putting that energy into expressing how you feel towards developing a relationship. So with that being said, I broke it down to 3 signals: Green light, red light, yellow light.
Green light: This is the signal that is given when one is ready to love and be loved in return. No playing around. No "Maybe I like/love you". With this signal you have given the go that you are going to show all affection and let down all walls. You're ready to be upfront.
Yellow light: You're doing the most but still not doing anything. Flirting and leading one on with the sign of taking things serious are near, but on the other hand, so is not taking things serious. This is the confusing stage. And is often where one party is too attached for the bullcrap. The "pending" party is taking too long to fulfill anything. It's very simple: Do you want to be with that person or not? Red light: You're just not doing anything. I don't even know why people even sit there entertaining the ground move. There's absolutely no signal. So you're wasting your time. So which light are you at? leading

Emotional vs. Physical

There are a lot of relationships where one or both parties are cheating. What people fail to realize is that physically cheating is not the only form of cheating, but emotionally as well. Both are horrible but in my eyes I believe that emotional cheating is worse.
Physically cheating is when one goes outside the relationship and has sex or any other physical act that is displeasing to the other partner. I don't understand why people cheat anyways. If you're unhappy then break it off.
Then there's emotionally cheating. Emotionally cheating is when you emotionally give yourself to someone outside of your relationship. Forming a deep relationship with one that isn't your boyfriend or girlfriend. I believe this is worse than physically cheating because normal relationships are built on emotional foundation. The feeling that love or deep like is apparent. Though there are those relationships that are built on sex. Those don't last because there isn't any connection emotionally and mentally.
I always questioned why people cheated instead of breaking things off. It leads to heartbreak and low self esteem. I say low self esteem because he or she may start to feel as though they can't measure up to anything all due to the fact that they were cheated on. Besides, cheating is a sin. You sinned because you couldn't control your hormones or you didn't have the balls to end one relationship to start another? Nice.

Can You Hear Me Now?

The biggest and most important quality in a relationship is Communication. When I say communicating, I don't mean via Twitter or Facebook. That doesn't count in my book. And I don't mean communicating days and weeks at a time. I mean communicating so that every problem and emotion is accounted for. Sending a text or making a 5 minute phone call. Something. Harboring emotions and problems because the other person does not communicate makes even bigger problems. Telling each other how you feel or when there is a problem should not be a problem within itself. When you are running from the act of communicating, or the problems, nothing ever gets solved. Things start to crumble. Become rocky. This is where my post "Reciprocated Love" comes into play. (If you haven't read it, do so.) It's not fair if one person gives their dying all in a relationship and then the other person is just chilling. In other terms, it's not fair that one person is steady communicating. Approaching the problems and feelings at hand, only to be met with the other person ignoring them and not having any type of interest in communicating back.

If one is constantly shown that they are ignored or not worth the time to be talked to, I'm pretty sure there is someone else out there who would not have a problem with doing what the other person is not doing. Not communicating can and will kill any relationship. No matter how much love there is. No talking. No loving.

Why You Can't Go

Previously I wrote a post entitled "Why Stay?", where I wrote about the signs in which one should leave a relationship. This post will be the opposite.
More than likely you've probably sat and asked yourself "Why do I stay?". You probably came to the conclusion that you love that person too much.  May sound cliche and whatnot, but in many situations, it's the truth. You've invested so much time and energy and you honestly cannot picture yourself with any other person. May sound cliche also. But that's ok. You truly believe that things can be worked out and will try any and everything in your power so things can change. There's a saying that goes along the lines of "The couples that face the most, are often the strongest" or something like that. Bare with me. But yea, if you bail out after every argument or disagreement then you really didn't want to be in relationship. That's what relationships consist and are made of. No one said loving was going to be as easy as 1, 2, 3 or your ABC's. Otherwise every body could endure pain and hardships love bring.

Why Stay?

Ever been in a relationship where you sat and pondered on whether you should stay or not? Constantly weighing out the Good and the Bad. Trying to understand why you're still with that person? If you're just wasting your time? There's so many factors that can make you ask yourself "Why am I here?"
For one, you're just NOT HAPPY. You get aggravated and pissed off when you see their name flashing across your phone. They aren't giving you what you need, even when you ask for it. They can't take the time out of their schedule to send a text or make a phone call. They just don't reach out to communicate period. They act as if they don't want to be bothered by you, thus ignoring your messages or calls. Though they are steady updating their status or tweeting their little hearts away. Continuance of arguing. Don't get me wrong, arguing is healthy in a relationship, but if you're arguing then avoiding coming up with a solution or the situation all together, then that leads to a whole bunch of unhappiness. Constantly having excuses. "Excuses are the tools of the weak and incompetent used to build monuments out of nothingness. Those who use them will never accomplish anything." Enough said. Emotions are being hidden. How exactly do you think a relationship will go anywhere if how your feeling is a mystery? TRUST. Trust shouldn't and cannot just lie within one person. Trust has to be mutual. If you trust them but you're afraid that they may judge you, shut down or whatever the case may be, then you don't trust them. You find yourself the only one in the relationship. Mentally and emotionally that is. You're the only one fighting and defending the partnership. Giving your absolute all for something that the other person clearly doesn't give a care in the world about. Lastly, you're just tired. Fed up of doing circular motions. Going back and forth. Tired.
Now the real questions are, Do you want to stick around and try to change these things? Or are you done trying? Is this person worth the constant struggle? Every relationship is different and sometimes the problems are as well... Sometimes.